i barfeds in our rink
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
