All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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