she was so not down for the gang bang
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
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the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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