Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
