i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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