Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
