Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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