i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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