Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
