...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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