I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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