Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize