they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
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