come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
