Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
