You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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