I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
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