How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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