someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
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Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
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He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.