i permit you to call me
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food