she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.