i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.