Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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