Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
