Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize