sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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