So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing