operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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