You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.