Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...