just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Your penis caused this!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
