She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
