he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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