is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
