You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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