It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
