In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Michael Bay diarrhea
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
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four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
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More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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