her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
