Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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