Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
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He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
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He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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