I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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