Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
