try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Randomize
