so explain again why im purple
no
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
We are two peas in an std pod
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
