thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
