Just cropdusted the office
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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