I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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