Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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