the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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