Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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