Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
