he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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