I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
