So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
