Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
