For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Randomize
