You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
