Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
