We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
