I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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