so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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