I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
