I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
