belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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