Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
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My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
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you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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