I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
