We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
