Nicole vs. Life
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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