Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
