im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
FUCK WHALES
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