if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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