Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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