I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
