New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
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