sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
